it appears my music path has narrowed and steepened thus causing me to pause and reflect on my next steps. During this pause, I discovered another path that would lead me-in a direction I have purposely avoided-but now I know if I will take this path, it WILL lead me back to my chosen path with much less emotional baggage. This new/old path will lead me back into some seriously dark and painful areas that I have chosen to not revisit-however I apparently left fragments of myself in this dark region-unconscious in suspended disbelief and horror. I need to bring all of myself onto the music path so now I must go find these fragments and convince them it's all OK and to come with me now.
I realize this is a tad more dramatic than we like but it's the focus of music at this time. Knitting is my constant lifeline as is a new and stronger practice of meditation.